I Suffer from Imposter Syndrome. Is There a 12-Step Program for Me?

A couple of days ago I got really spooked.

Why? Because more new people subscribed to this newsletter in one day than in any previous week.

But isn’t that a good thing? I hear you ask.

Well, of course it is. Unless, like me, you suffer big time from imposter syndrome. In fact, I deal with it so severely that I started a channel called Imposters Anonymous in an online community I’m part of.

If you don’t know what imposter syndrome is:

1. You’re lucky

2. It stinks.

3. Here’s an article from Harvard Business Review that explains it.

So when it came time to park my butt in the chair and write my newsletter for this week, I froze. That’s what imposters do. We don’t fight, we don’t take flight, we freeze. What can I possibly write about that will make these new subscribers feel like this subscription is worthwhile?

Sigh.

Am I making progress on the revisions for my book? Yes, but not in any way that shows. Did I have any interesting adventures this past week? Nope. Unless you count actually getting outdoors for a walk when the temperature plummeted to 89 degrees! Do I have any noteworthy new insights into the writing process? Nope.

All I have is the assurance that this, too, shall pass. And no, there’s no 12-step program for us.

Do you ever have days or weeks like that? Let me know in the comments.

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What I’m Reading

The Woman in Cabin 10 by Ruth Ware

I couldn’t put this book down. Now, I’ll grant you, that’s not an uncommon problem for me, but I’ve gotten so much better about it in the past few years. . . Not this time.

Well written, beautifully constructed, it tells the story of a young English woman who’s settled for too many things in her life. She had dreams of becoming an investigative reporter, but she’s in a dead-end job with a travel magazine, feeling grateful for being allowed to take on an assignment that her boss wasn’t able to schedule for herself.

When we first meet her, she’s unabashedly drunk and hung over, and it’s clear this is a place she finds herself pretty often. What’s not such a common occurrence in her life is the burglar in her apartment.

The encounter leaves her traumatized, although a lacerated cheek is her only physical injury. So she’s happy to take the assignment, a week-long luxury cruise, where she’ll feel safe.

Only it doesn’t quite work out that way. Twists within twists within twists. . .

I gave it five stars on Goodreads, and I don’t exactly hand out those like M&Ms — more like gold nuggets, precious and very rare.

The Murder of Roger Ackroyd by Agatha Christie

This is a book I’ve read probably dozens of times of the past 55 or so years. It was only the sixth book Christie had published, and it broke a whole lot of conventions.

The first, and maybe most important convention that it busted through was the role of the narrator. The narrator is supposed to be reliable, someone you, the reader, can count on to tell you the truth. So what happens when you’re reading a book with an unreliable narrator?

At the very least it messes with your head.

Another convention she broke is that she busted through what’s called the Fourth Wall. This is a phrase that originated in the theater, and refers to a character speaking directly to the audience instead of to the other characters. Several times in the course of this book, the narrator, Dr. Sheppard, speaks directly to the reader.

All of which makes The Murder of Roger Ackroyd, written almost 100 years ago (it was published in 1926), an enduring classic in the mystery genre.

Buy Me a Chai

Some of the links I include in this email may be affiliate links. What does that mean? It means you pay the same — or in some cases a little less — if you click and purchase, and I get a small commission. It’s not a lot, but it helps me buy a few chai lattes here and there. . . Or, if you like what you're reading, you can Buy Me a Chai right now. Thanks! (If you really like what you’re reading, you can upgrade to a paid subscription and buy me a chai every month!)

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Notable Quotes

. . . a harbor gives me a feeling of freedom in a way that an airport never does. Airports say work and security checks and delays. Ports say… I don’t know. Something completely different. Escape, maybe.

- The Woman in Cabin 10 by Ruth Ware

I can relate. Maybe if I took a lot of cruises I wouldn’t, but the contrast between a port and an airport — especially in these days of long security lines and overcrowded planes — is strong.

“Never worry about what you say to a man. They’re so conceited that they never believe you mean it if it’s unflattering.”

- The Murder of Roger Ackroyd by Agatha Christie

This made me laugh. In an era when men were the leaders and women the followers, men were adventurers and women stayed home, men held all the political power and most of the wealth, and women were expected to obey their husbands no matter how brutish or generally awful they were, it took a daring woman to criticize a man.